|
fighting a liar |
lighting a
fire |
|
you hissed my
mystery lecture |
you
missed my history lecture |
|
cattle ships and bruisers |
battle ships and cruisers |
|
nosey little cook |
cosy little nook |
|
a blushing crow |
a crushing blow |
|
tons of soil |
sons of toil |
|
our queer old Dean |
our dear old Queen |
|
we'll have the
hags flung out |
we'll
have the flags hung out |
|
you've tasted two worms |
you've wasted two terms |
|
our shoving leopard |
our
loving shepherd |
|
a half-warmed fish |
a half-formed wish |
|
is the bean dizzy? |
is the Dean busy? |
|
know your blows |
blow your nose |
|
go and shake a tower |
go and take a shower |
|
tease my ears |
ease my tears |
|
nicking your pose |
picking your nose |
|
you have very mad
banners |
you have very bad manners |
|
lack of pies |
pack of lies |
|
it's roaring with pain |
it's pouring with
rain |
|
sealing the hick |
healing the sick |
|
go help me sod |
so help me God |
|
pit nicking |
nit picking |
|
bowel feast |
foul beast |
|
I'm a damp stealer |
I'm a stamp dealer |
|
hypodemic nurdle |
hypodermic needle |
|
wave the sails |
save the whales |
|
chipping the flannel on TV |
flipping the channel on TV |
|
mad bunny |
bad money |
|
I'm shout of the hour |
I'm out of the shower |
|
lead of spite |
speed of light |
|
this is the pun
fart |
this is the fun
part |
|
I hit my bunny phone |
I hit my funny
bone |
|
flutter by |
butterfly |
|
bedding wells |
wedding bells |
|
I must mend the sail |
I must send the
mail |
|
cop porn |
popcorn |
|
it crawls through
the fax |
it falls through
the cracks |
|
my zips are lipped |
my lips are zipped |
|
bat flattery |
flat battery |
|
would you like a nasal hut? |
would you like a hazel
nut? |
|
puke on |
coupon |
|
belly jeans |
jelly beans |
|
eye ball |
bye all |
|
fight in your
race |
right in your face |
|
ready as a stock |
steady as a rock |
|
no tails |
toe nails |
|
hiss and lear |
listen here |
|
soul of ballad |
bowl of salad |
|
Two of Hearts |
2♥ |
Who of tarts? |
|
Four of Hearts |
4♥ |
Whore of farts |
|
Eight of Hearts |
8♥ |
Hate of Arts |
|
Ten of Hearts |
10♥ |
Hen of tarts |
|
Ace of Spades |
A♠ |
Space of aids |
|
Four of Spades |
4♠ |
Spore of fades |
|
Eight of Spades |
8♠ |
Spate of AIDS |
|
Four of Diamonds |
4♦ |
Door of fireman's |
|
Five of Diamonds |
5♦ |
Dive of fireman's |
|
Six of Diamonds |
6♦ |
Dicks of Simon's |
|
Two of Clubs |
2♣ |
Clue of tubs |
|
Five of Clubs |
5♣ |
Clive of Fubbs |
It's easy to get tongue-tied
and accidentally say something rude, as you'll know if you've ever watched one of those
compilations of TV slip-ups. Often just switching two small sounds in a phrase will result
in an embarrassing, or even
obscene Spoonerism!
Try reading these out loud,
but not within earshot of your
grandmother... just in case!